Skip to main content

Let talk about sex baby

Hi all,

I wanted to share my story about my first time. I was 26 (I know quite late - I was starting to think I was going to be the 40 year old virgin). He was a guy I met off Growlr (an app for bears - what is with all these animal names?). He was sweet, kind and lots of fun in our chats. We arranged to meet at his local station. Now normally I would be quite wary of this sort of situation, and I totally feel that anyone should be, but he seemed nice (and I am quite capable so felt safe). Plus it was a public space which is ALWAYS the best place to meet.

He was running late, but that was ok. When he turned up I was relieved that he looked like his picture on his profile (something that hasn't always been the case - more on that later). I was surprised that I wasn't nervous, but like I said he made me feel calm as he was genuinely a lovely guy. We made it to his flat and settled on the sofa to watch a movie. It was nice to just sit close to someone and be held. That quickly turned into my first kiss! (I was surprised - he just went for it). It was great though, always nice to be surprised and taken off guard by a kiss (as long as you want to kiss the person that is). I will spare the saucy details but it was my first oral experience, in more ways than just kissing ;). We had dinner and spent the rest of the night just kissing - it was lovely. Sadly was only a one night affair, but you get used to those.

What it did was spark some sort of sexual awakening in me. I already had Grindr (no big deal - pretty much everyone has used it) and quickly found my next rumble in the sheets. I drove this time to the hotel he was staying at. We had sex and was my first actual (safe - ALWAYS BE SAFE) penetrative experience (I topped). He didn't realise it was my first time - which is good as well. Again this was a one night affair, but we both knew this was just about sex. Unlike the first guy who I had spoken to for a few days, this person I literally just met (you get used to that - somehow).

That led me to my third guy (who to this date remains my only regret in my sexual life). He seemed nice, but after meeting him he was different than expected. Not in a necessarily bad way but he had definitely used photoshop. We talked for a while and I wasn't expecting to do anything but he leaned in to kiss me. I wasn't really feeling it, but as few touches in the right places gets you really horny. If I think about it now I feel a little ashamed I let it happen, but I learned from it and now know when to stop proceedings when I don't want anything to happen.

It is probably going to sound really slutty of me but this was over the course of one week! Lol (don't judge I know people who have had multiple partners within a day!). But was definitely more than I had before. I think I went a little 'boys gone wild'. But the week taught me a lot. I found out I'm a great kisser (trophies on shelf - lol), that one night stands are literally just that (and feel a little emotionless) and to know what I want when I want it (which is the best lesson).

I think the lessons learned were what I needed. I learnt a lot more over the next few years, and am still learning to this day.

Until next time,



Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to my house

Hi All, I got the best news this week! I’m going to be a home (flat) owner!!!! For those that know me and my story you will know that this is a big deal. It means I can finally move out of my parents place and start living life the way I want to, and in pride month no less. What better opportunity could I ask for? It means that I can live with the love of my life, and do all the cute and fun couple-y things that we were always meant to do.  It means I can just be me. That’s the main point really. No more hiding who I am, no more having to answer to others. Free to be who I want, go where I want, come back to the flat whoever I want. It’s not like I’m in a jail sentence at home, but the comments made on how late I come back home do take their toll. I’m the type of person who wants it to be easy, don’t cause too much of a fuss and that way no fights or arguments happen. I mean I am human and I will provoke sometimes, but for the most part I’m easy going and want things to be

This is the end

Hi All, I hope you have all been well, and that these troubled times of COVID are getting better in your respective countries. Thankfully with the vaccines out things will eventually get better and somewhat back to normal. I hope everyone is staying strong during these times too, as they are tough and have really tested humanity to almost breaking point. I realise it has been a long time since my last post. I mentioned a few posts ago that I have run out of things to say about my journey. I have a wonderful partner, a lovely home with him and a nice balance with my family who I can keep my secret life a secret from. So things are going well. This is something the 'me' of a few years ago would have never imagined. I remember a time when I was doubtful I would ever be this happy and in a long term relationship. But I persevered and am better for it now. Even during a pandemic and lockdown(s) I have remained happy, and thankful that I could still work.  I guess one of the reasons


Hi all, Hope everyone is keeping safe from the pandemic and that the pressures are starting to ease off a little in terms of lockdown. It has definitely been a strange year, and it will continue to be for a little while longer. I honestly feel we should write off 2020 and forget it ever happened. Despite all the tragedies and despair there have been nice things to come from it. People are being friendlier towards each other and helping neighbours. They are innovating in times of need and helping out in any way that they can. It will be tough to move forward, and the effects of the lockdown will last for a generation, but we will endure. My post is about a little gem that I found on Disney+ called Out. It's a short animation about a closeted gay man who is struggling to tell his parents about his boyfriend, and the reason he is moving because of it. This is a first for Disney, as they have never really showed an out and proud gay character in anything before. They have alluded