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So come on let it go, just let it be

Hi all,

So as some of you may know from my previous posts I am not fully out. I have told a select few people. But to others I just don't bring up the subject of my sexuality or discuss it to any great length. It's not that I am ashamed, it's just that I am a private person and have never really discussed my personal life (unless I need to vent - and even then I am selective about the information I give out). To say I have been burned in the past would be correct. I gave secretive information to a certain someone and they leaked it to everyone I knew at the time. So that has made me cautious. That isn't to say I don't know who I can trust. But there is one person in particular who I know I cannot trust. Lets call her GG (Gossip Girl).

GG is the type of person who wants to know everyones business, but will never share anything personal about her. The information you get is very superficial and typically about her many 'friends' (she instantly thinks that if you have said hello to her that you are friends). Whilst she is good at heart (at least I am led to believe) she hungers for gossip and can't want to tell everyone. This has been tested from time to time where we share ridiculous stories with her and wait to see how long it takes for everyone to know about it (the record btw is 4 hours!). Anyway, GG has this obsession with finding out if I am gay or not. So much so that she constantly asks my best friends about me, especially when they are out drunk, hoping that they will slip up and tell her the juicy details she so craves. Now i am lucky, the people I have told know how to conduct themselves in this situation. They are rocks, vaults even for secrets. So they would never tell. but for a period of time it seemed every other day I would hear of another attempt from her to find out. Every time I feel a little more annoyed. If I wanted to tell her I would. But I know telling her would mean 100 people finding out within a day. People I haven't even met would know about me. Thats not something I want, or am ready for at this point in my life.

I take amusement from the fact she is so inquisitive. Its like she has nothing else going on in her life but to obsess about me, and various other non-important matters. Thankfully recently she has cooled off, but there will be minor instances when she tries to fish for information again. She will always come away with nothing. To stop most of the inquiries I tend to stay away. She isn't someone I will miss if she left my life. She may consider us friends, but I consider her someone I know through friends. I will be friendly (I always am), but don't twist this in your head for real friendship.

At least I know that if I ever did want the world to know I only ever have to tell one person. Its like sending a text to all my contacts without the effort of doing so. But for now I will leave her speculating and enjoy the fact she will never know.



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