Skip to main content

Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned

Hey All,

This week has been a week like no other. On the surface of it all it seems like a normal week, we get up, we go about our daily routines and then we all go to sleep. But there is a heavy air in the house recently, and it stems from one person... Mum.

Those of you have read my previous post will know that we are getting our bathroom re-modelled. This has not been a smooth ride and has caused my mum to become angry at all of us for every mistake that has happened. She fails to see that they are very minor details and we cannot control everything. But in her head we are to blame for everything and that is final. She has this tendency to do this a lot. She is never happy with what has been done and always wants more or find fault. This is to the detriment of my dad who bears the brunt of all her constant nagging and negative comments. But when she is like this no-one is really safe.

Now I know that in every healthy relationship there will be arguments and fights. This is normal. We can sometimes take people for granted, keep our feelings bottled up and release them at the wrong moments, or just feel we need to air grievances. With my mum however things are different. She suffers from anxiety and depression, and when she is in the mood for a fight she won't hold back her words. She will constantly change what she wants and this is hard to keep track. She will proclaim that we should all spend more time together, but when we do that she will find ways to escape. She will say that we should stop working around the house and sit down, but then claim that things aren't being done in the house. Its a constant battle to keep her happy. From it I have come to one major conclusion, she is never really happy. She will always find faults and have something to nag about. When my parents fight its tough too, as it would be for anyone. In our culture you cannot raise your voice to parents as it shows disrespect.

However, me and my sister take it upon ourselves to remedy the situation. Over the years we have found ways to stop the fighting and move into a pseudo-normal state of everyday life. This time however it will take more than a heartfelt conversation I think. My mum recently said that she didn't want to be in the car with my dad as she would fight with him. When we asked her why she needs to fight, she just wryly smiled and changed the subject. For some reason she is looking to have a fight for no reason, and that is difficult to manoeuvre around. So until my sister comes home tomorrow to help me fix this I am living in this awkward silence after their recent fight. I dare not say anything as I don't want to start another argument over nothing, or have her turn my words around and pick a fight.

This goes back to the fact that they need a buffer. But its more deeper than just having someone fix the cracks like the builder is doing in the bathroom. Me and my sister have discussed them getting therapy, but this is a very abstract thing to talk about in our culture, and would most likely offend my dad, who through all of this is being great. He puts up with it all, and would never say anything to hurt my mum intentionally. I think my mum just needs to take a step back and be thankful for what she does have. My dad does everything possible to make her feel comfortable and valued.

I just wish she granted him the same courtesy.



Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to my house

Hi All, I got the best news this week! I’m going to be a home (flat) owner!!!! For those that know me and my story you will know that this is a big deal. It means I can finally move out of my parents place and start living life the way I want to, and in pride month no less. What better opportunity could I ask for? It means that I can live with the love of my life, and do all the cute and fun couple-y things that we were always meant to do.  It means I can just be me. That’s the main point really. No more hiding who I am, no more having to answer to others. Free to be who I want, go where I want, come back to the flat whoever I want. It’s not like I’m in a jail sentence at home, but the comments made on how late I come back home do take their toll. I’m the type of person who wants it to be easy, don’t cause too much of a fuss and that way no fights or arguments happen. I mean I am human and I will provoke sometimes, but for the most part I’m easy going and want things to be

This is the end

Hi All, I hope you have all been well, and that these troubled times of COVID are getting better in your respective countries. Thankfully with the vaccines out things will eventually get better and somewhat back to normal. I hope everyone is staying strong during these times too, as they are tough and have really tested humanity to almost breaking point. I realise it has been a long time since my last post. I mentioned a few posts ago that I have run out of things to say about my journey. I have a wonderful partner, a lovely home with him and a nice balance with my family who I can keep my secret life a secret from. So things are going well. This is something the 'me' of a few years ago would have never imagined. I remember a time when I was doubtful I would ever be this happy and in a long term relationship. But I persevered and am better for it now. Even during a pandemic and lockdown(s) I have remained happy, and thankful that I could still work.  I guess one of the reasons


Hi all, Hope everyone is keeping safe from the pandemic and that the pressures are starting to ease off a little in terms of lockdown. It has definitely been a strange year, and it will continue to be for a little while longer. I honestly feel we should write off 2020 and forget it ever happened. Despite all the tragedies and despair there have been nice things to come from it. People are being friendlier towards each other and helping neighbours. They are innovating in times of need and helping out in any way that they can. It will be tough to move forward, and the effects of the lockdown will last for a generation, but we will endure. My post is about a little gem that I found on Disney+ called Out. It's a short animation about a closeted gay man who is struggling to tell his parents about his boyfriend, and the reason he is moving because of it. This is a first for Disney, as they have never really showed an out and proud gay character in anything before. They have alluded