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'Cause I am hopeful, yes I am

Hi all,

How are you? Hope the new year is treating you all well. Thankfully January has ended (it felt like it lasted forever) and we are now making our steady way out of winter. For me, this is a time where I start on my new year plans. Note, these are like resolutions, but I give myself time to apply them to my life and make an order for them to come my way. That has taken a bit of a detour due to one major reason. I have decided to leave my current job and look for something new. Now this is both a hasty decision, and something I have been considering for a while. The reason I say its hasty is because I do not have another job lined up already. Those that know me, know that I am a planner. I have a spontaneous attitude as well, and this decision is part of that for sure.

For a while I was quite unhappy in my new role. Essentially it was the same role I was in, however the work became a lot more intense due to the patients we were receiving. Add to that the stress of having a few less doctors around, and their replacement being inept in every way, there were a few instances where I was not able to pick up an interaction or incorrect dose at first glance. Thankfully all the patients were fine, but it left me with doubt of my abilities, of which I know I would have picked these things up if there were more time. That was the deal breaker for me. I need more time on the wards, but I cannot due that due to the lack of staff to fill other roles within the pharmacy. So I was forced to hurry along my work and only scrape the surface of what I could actually do on the wards. This made me feel sad and angry at the situation, not to mention the constant running around just to keep things floating above water and ensuring EVERY SINGLE patient in the hospital had medication. To think about asking one pharmacist to look after 250 critically ill patients is madness in itself, and I am proud for lasting as long as I did with relatively few mistakes.

But I have to admit that the mistakes I made were in fact mistakes. As a pharmacist I have taken an oath to keep patients safe, and ensure their treatment is safe and accurate. If I fail in that duty, I have failed the patient. Therefore I was left with few options. I asked for more staff and that was met with a resounding no as there is not enough budget (there is but the company is notoriously cheap and making cuts). I asked for more time on the wards, which was also met with a resounding no as there weren't enough staff (see point previous). So my last option is to leave, and that has actually made me more excited that anything else this job has ever brought me. For a while I was saying to myself that I was staying within this role due to the people I work with on the wards (not the pharmacy staff, whom I am cordial with but do not regard as close friends). These are the people I will miss and  whilst I have been told by these same  people that I will be missed and that they do not want me to leave, they know that I need to in order to be happy.

So I am in the process of looking for new positions, as well as trying out new courses in project management to help beef out my CV. I honestly feel so zen about being 'unemployed' in a few weeks time, and that for me is surprising. But I also have looked at my past and know that I will find work due to my positive attitude and work ethic. That same work ethic that has seen me working since I was 17, working 7 days a week for 6 years and the very same work ethic that gave me all the opportunities I had within pharmacy and beyond. So I am hopeful that things will work out, as I know I will make sure that they do.

2019 really is going to be 20-mine-teen.



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